Fathers Permission for a Girl’s Marriage

“Abu ‘ Abd Allah (a.s.), has said, ‘A virgin woman who has her father must not marry without his permission.’”

“One of the two Imam, (abu Ja’far or abu ‘Abd Allah), ‘Alayhim al-Salam, has said, ‘A virgin girl when living with her parents cannot appoint anyone to solemnize her marriage. In the absence of her father anyone can ask her to be appointed as her guardian.’”

“This is concerning my question before abu ‘Abd Allah, Alayhi al-Salam, about the case of a man who wants to give his sister in marriage. He (the Imam) said, ‘He must have her permission and if she remains quiet it is her affirmation. If she refuses he must not give her in marriage, if she says, “Give me in marriage to so and so” then he must give her in marriage to whom she has chosen. An orphan in the care of a man must not be given in marriage without her agreement.’”

“This is concerning my question before abu ‘Abd Allah, Alayhi al-Salam, about the case of a man who gives his daughter in marriage to someone without her permission. He (the Imam) said, ‘With the existence of her father she has no say and commandments. If he gives her in marriage it is permissible even if she dislikes.’ He (the Imam) was asked about the case of a man who wants to give his sister in marriage. He (the Imam) said, ‘He must have her commandment, permission and if she remains quiet it is her affirmation and if she refuses he cannot give her in marriage.’”

“Abu ‘Abd Allah, Alayhi al-Salam, has said, ‘The girl who is with her parents cannot appoint someone (to solemnize her marriage) when her father wants to give her in marriage; he is more careful than her. A woman for her second marriage must be asked for her permission if she lives with her parents and they want to give her in marriage.’”

“I once asked al-Rida’, Alayhi al-Salam, about the case of a small girl whose father wanted to give her in marriage: if she had any commandment. He (the Imam) said, ‘No, with the existence of her father she has no commandments.’ I then asked about a virgin who has grown like other woman; if she has any commandment with her father. He (the Imam) said, ‘No, she does not have any commands with her father until she grows up.’”

“Certain ones of sons of my uncle wrote to abu Ja’far al-Thaniy (a.s.), asking about the small girl whom her uncle gave in marriage to someone and when she grew up she disagreed with the marriage. He (the Imam) wrote back in his own handwriting, ‘She must not be forced, and the command is her command.”’

In the case of a virgin, her remaining quiet is her permission, and a woman for her second marriage has her own command and power of decision making."

“I once asked abu al-Hassan (a.s.), about the case of a small girl whose father gave her in marriage, but he died before her husband went to bed with her; if her marriage was permissible or it was it up to her to decide. He (the Imam) said, ‘Her father’s giving in marriage is permissible.’”